So..what do you think?
I always hear things like.."hey, dont cry..." like it is such a bad thing! Some people make it look like .. when you cry, youre weak.
Or..when you talk about what you disagree with, youre the type who grumble and complaints a whole lot.
OK, why do people feel relief after they talked about whats bugging them? Bear in mind that, not everybody has the luxury of paying a psychiatrist hundreds of dollars an hour!
And, why do people see others who cry as, weak?
In my religion, as human, we are none but weaklings and when we pray and confess our weaknesses to the Almighty, soon after we feel recharged.
So, just what the hell is so wrong with pouring my heart out and cry?
Anyway..
As a continuation to the previous post, I think my way of channeling my frustrations by writing it here, in public, is not such a big deal as some people see it to be..
A lot of people I know, talk about someone else. Thats the truth. May be not out loud the way I do..but they talk, good Lord, they do! And, believe this - not everyone who appears trustworthy, kind and seemingly...concern, is what they really are. And youre BEST-est, oldest, closest friends, maybe an angel to you but she can well be mean to others. Or just THAT THING you cant point your finger on 'thingy'!
My random thoughts today brings me to Raya (Eid) 2011 or maybe 12 (told you Im bad with dates. Numbers!) We were at an old friends place, visiting. This friend later on posted a few photos of us at her place. Another friend, B who is such a darling whom I love dearly saw the post and was a little taken abacked by it - that I did not visit her - was obviously mad. If not a lot, definitely a fair amount of anguish hit her due to what happened!
I felt awful. I really did. She lives abroad. On that very day, my mind was really everywhere. I had planned to visit my sister who was at the time, quite sickly and hospitalized. So going to M was in my plan. I guess it was my fault. I guess I wasnt thoughtful enough. I really didnt remember that B was in Malaysia. It was not intentionally done. But after what happened, she ignored me for a few years. B is such a joyful person to be around with, shes kind, shes crazy.
But I really didnt do it on purpose.
Then came the next 2 Raya! Shes still cold. But I kept trying. Redha that things willnever be the same. Not on my side either.
Well how could I? I didnt do it on purpose. She did. Or, perhaps I dont mean much to her after the Raya that I didnt visit her. No matter what I did.
2013..or 2014, she decided to make the trip to us on the 1st raya. I usually reserve 1st and 2nd Raya for really close relatives and siblings. But she said she could only make it on the 1st, so I changed my schedule. Was excited that shes finally gotten over the last raya incident. Thats the Raya B was introducing her fiance, after the silly old man crazy rendezvous with her, failed miserably!
I thought she was probably at my place on that 1st Raya just because she wanted to introduce her fiance. Thats decent still. I dont mind at all.
And the 2nd time supposedly to be married didnt work either. I even thought am I jinxed?
So this Raya, after a careful planning, my darling friend kept changing her plan as and when required, suited her other friends.
She said KM might come aoong with me. I got even more excited. The more the merrier. Then KM might no be able coz its the 1st Raya, so of course shed be spending it with her family. Well...OK, I understand that too. So no KM. Then, again they confirmed to come with KMs family as well cuz theyre all visiting a family friend.
In the 3bd, they didnt turn up. Apologizing on the day itself , a few hours after the set time. I had prepared lunch. Im sure not as lavish as her other VIP friends, but yeah, lunch was prepared for them, as planned. As agreed.
There were many changed of plans due to her other friends in the beginning.
I just wondered time after time, why? This friend of mine, has lots of friends. Shes truly LOVED by all.
And to add salt to injury, I saw photos of KM with her, alone, on the 1st Raya visiting her friends. Im sure theres a strong reason why.
I accepted it. I understand.
Its OK fot you to screw up big time the way you did, but not when I did it - unintentionally!
LOL, now dont even dare to show your snappy side, takyah nak sentap sangat, kalaulah terbaca or terdengar cerita. This is one example. I know more 1st hand experience of "sometimes, its just not worth it!"
Shes truly loved by people, including me. But, somehow or rather, it just doesnt work..
NOTE: I AM ONE OF THOSE WHO, IN MY YOUNGER DAYS, MADE FOOLISH MISTAKES IN MANY WAYS - PLEASE KNOW THAT THIS ISNT IN ANY WAYS AT ALL, MEANT TO JUDGE OR ATTACK ANYONE - LETS LOOK AT THIS AS A MEAN TO REFLECT AT/ON OUR ACTIONS UNTO OTHERS. PEACE??? ;-)
I always hear things like.."hey, dont cry..." like it is such a bad thing! Some people make it look like .. when you cry, youre weak.
Or..when you talk about what you disagree with, youre the type who grumble and complaints a whole lot.
OK, why do people feel relief after they talked about whats bugging them? Bear in mind that, not everybody has the luxury of paying a psychiatrist hundreds of dollars an hour!
And, why do people see others who cry as, weak?
In my religion, as human, we are none but weaklings and when we pray and confess our weaknesses to the Almighty, soon after we feel recharged.
So, just what the hell is so wrong with pouring my heart out and cry?
Anyway..
As a continuation to the previous post, I think my way of channeling my frustrations by writing it here, in public, is not such a big deal as some people see it to be..
A lot of people I know, talk about someone else. Thats the truth. May be not out loud the way I do..but they talk, good Lord, they do! And, believe this - not everyone who appears trustworthy, kind and seemingly...concern, is what they really are. And youre BEST-est, oldest, closest friends, maybe an angel to you but she can well be mean to others. Or just THAT THING you cant point your finger on 'thingy'!
My random thoughts today brings me to Raya (Eid) 2011 or maybe 12 (told you Im bad with dates. Numbers!) We were at an old friends place, visiting. This friend later on posted a few photos of us at her place. Another friend, B who is such a darling whom I love dearly saw the post and was a little taken abacked by it - that I did not visit her - was obviously mad. If not a lot, definitely a fair amount of anguish hit her due to what happened!
I felt awful. I really did. She lives abroad. On that very day, my mind was really everywhere. I had planned to visit my sister who was at the time, quite sickly and hospitalized. So going to M was in my plan. I guess it was my fault. I guess I wasnt thoughtful enough. I really didnt remember that B was in Malaysia. It was not intentionally done. But after what happened, she ignored me for a few years. B is such a joyful person to be around with, shes kind, shes crazy.
But I really didnt do it on purpose.
Then came the next 2 Raya! Shes still cold. But I kept trying. Redha that things willnever be the same. Not on my side either.
Well how could I? I didnt do it on purpose. She did. Or, perhaps I dont mean much to her after the Raya that I didnt visit her. No matter what I did.
2013..or 2014, she decided to make the trip to us on the 1st raya. I usually reserve 1st and 2nd Raya for really close relatives and siblings. But she said she could only make it on the 1st, so I changed my schedule. Was excited that shes finally gotten over the last raya incident. Thats the Raya B was introducing her fiance, after the silly old man crazy rendezvous with her, failed miserably!
I thought she was probably at my place on that 1st Raya just because she wanted to introduce her fiance. Thats decent still. I dont mind at all.
And the 2nd time supposedly to be married didnt work either. I even thought am I jinxed?
So this Raya, after a careful planning, my darling friend kept changing her plan as and when required, suited her other friends.
She said KM might come aoong with me. I got even more excited. The more the merrier. Then KM might no be able coz its the 1st Raya, so of course shed be spending it with her family. Well...OK, I understand that too. So no KM. Then, again they confirmed to come with KMs family as well cuz theyre all visiting a family friend.
In the 3bd, they didnt turn up. Apologizing on the day itself , a few hours after the set time. I had prepared lunch. Im sure not as lavish as her other VIP friends, but yeah, lunch was prepared for them, as planned. As agreed.
There were many changed of plans due to her other friends in the beginning.
I just wondered time after time, why? This friend of mine, has lots of friends. Shes truly LOVED by all.
And to add salt to injury, I saw photos of KM with her, alone, on the 1st Raya visiting her friends. Im sure theres a strong reason why.
I accepted it. I understand.
Its OK fot you to screw up big time the way you did, but not when I did it - unintentionally!
LOL, now dont even dare to show your snappy side, takyah nak sentap sangat, kalaulah terbaca or terdengar cerita. This is one example. I know more 1st hand experience of "sometimes, its just not worth it!"
Shes truly loved by people, including me. But, somehow or rather, it just doesnt work..
NOTE: I AM ONE OF THOSE WHO, IN MY YOUNGER DAYS, MADE FOOLISH MISTAKES IN MANY WAYS - PLEASE KNOW THAT THIS ISNT IN ANY WAYS AT ALL, MEANT TO JUDGE OR ATTACK ANYONE - LETS LOOK AT THIS AS A MEAN TO REFLECT AT/ON OUR ACTIONS UNTO OTHERS. PEACE??? ;-)
