the boy in the striped pyjamas made me sobbed

i was feeling down and disappointed with things around me last week. all i wanted to do was lay back and watch a good movie with the kids. (and imagine how good it would feel to kick your behind for being 'foolish' and expect me to foolishly buy the crap youre selling... im not 23, im 43! i know what youre doing anyway you slice it..)
anyway..the boy in the striped pyjamas wasnt at all what i expected it to be. i usually scanned the review, i obviously didnt this one.
before i go further, i would like to apologize for the sensitivity of this post..
i have friends from all walks of life. all colors (if you so insist that i mention this bit). and faith. i think because the setting was during world war 2, my 1st and 3rd fell asleep half way watching it. trish asked a lot of questions. why did the soldier talk that way to the old man? what is that smoke, what are they burning? i read about concentration camps, but obviously not enough to know what they were burning at the time. so we watched together commenting how he is curious to know more about pavel and how nice and kind bruno is towards shmuel. anyway..when bruno and shmuel went looking for shmuels dad, they were 'trapped' along with hundreds other prisoners, led into a gas chamber.
on seeing this, trish grew terrified and repeatedly asked what are they doing to them? are they really taking a shower? i suggested toturn it off. that shes too young to understand. but she insisted that we watch it till the end.  and so we did.
trish asked, why did the hitler soldiers do that? i explained that its war time and thats why war is bad. she asked again, "but why?" and she asked again, "but why?"....

in my heart and mind, terrified of blasphemy


the somewhat courageous coward

Love and other drugs, and then some..

I have not seen this movie, but my friend fizh listed it in the 'movies you should watch' and i just manage to watch the trailer.. Oh boy, its the kind of movie that makes me wept and wake up with puffier eyes!
Not like 'hes not THAT into you' or '27 dresses'...i think!
I think it kind of reminds me of myself..except for the part whr jake gyllenhaal (yeaaa.. i memorized the spelling of his surname..) wants beautiful anne hathaway like crazy..hmm no, no..how i wish!
just the part where she gets sick..

well, i fell asleep a few times while writing this

i watched the revolutionary 'brokeback mountain' for the first time last night! i know, kind of stale right..
i couldnt sleep after watching it. theres a certain kind of rush inside me. i keep wanting to see jake gyllenhaal (and of course heath ledger!!!) over and over again.
LOL. cheeky norrie!

but thats not all - its sad..thats what reality is all about, plain and simple, that life is not all-time rosy

so make the best out of it, everytime you can, for yourself - and those around you, when you can..

a little overwhelmed, and a 'lot bored'..

HA!
just a few weeks ago, i heard (i wasnt really eavesdropping, they were just loud.. *wink* ) i heard a group of girlfriends, and a few not-so discussing a popular topic, not necessarily interesting (i just thought i should add), just popular.
there were, if im not mistaken, 14 of them, sitting across each other. i guessed theyre schoolmates. just because thats who they usually are. they organize one after another get-together.
no, no, dont get me wrong (notice that i say that a lot, the phrase "dont get me wrong"? well thats because, im always perceived differently..than what i meant to say) im not against it, or anything. ok, (darn!) let me rephrase that.. "they look like the type who successfully organize a get-together"
better?
girl #1 very pretty, with long brown hair: i dont understand why they like telling the world what theyre cooking - EVERYDAY! oh puhhhhlizzzz
a few of her friends nodded in agreement. some pretended they didnt hear her, i think. some exchanged disagreeing looks. a few of those who seemed to be agreeing with her went on discussing the topic she brought up.
girl #2 very pretty as well, long black hair tied up high: oh come on, its not much different than posting pictures to where one travelled...right? so whats wrong with telling the world what shes cooking everyday? haha, youre just crossed with her (bluntly girl #2 told girl #1 straight in the face. of course girl #1 denied it)
he-girl #3 thin and tall, and very pretty: 'mak tak kisah nyahhhh' as long as no one bugs me! i write whatever i feel, if anyone doesnt like it, move on. then she added, although i cant stand those who keep posting smarty-ass words of wisdom about  love and friendship and more crap (and her eyes turned wildly at another pretty girl - yes theyre a bunch of pretty looking faces - as if giving indication of who shes talking about..) so hypocrite lorrr  like we dont know who they are...
some of them laughed. some shook their heads.
girl #4 very pretty wearing head cover: ..those are still tolerable.. haha, i dont understand why people accept friend request from people, but wouldnt say a word after that! once i thought id say hello and get to know this certain girl i befriended, and the best is, she requested to be my friend. she didnt return my hello, instead she removed herself. what was that???? apparently some said its because she didnt like me barging in her 'circle of friends' thread of conversation.. actually, come to think of it, its very much like how it is in real life lah
i grew tired of listening. ive heard it all before, i remembered. usually the girls are the one with many 'rules and conditions' about how it should be..what to say, what not to. and the 'ignore' games. some girls wearing head cover wouldnt befriend girls whos not wearing head cover. ohh and the list goes on.
i have my own personal and rather weird (i dont know..maybe i was the weird one..) experience, a family friend, a mother of a pretty teenager..who expected me to chat with her everyday. shed want us (my daughter too) to respond to her yet have a whole long list of  NOs on her side.
i just thought, its facebook for gods sake..how about we try to be nice, then again, thats down right hypocrisy all over again..
i guess this is what life is all about - tolerance

aaaaaanyways, heath ledgers really brilliant @ Brokeback Mountain, im watching it as im finishing this post  ;-)
have yerself a sweeeet weekend with the family nawww..

:-)

eli, tu as gagné..

a walk in my shoes..

ever felt like the hurdles never end?
well i certainly have. im not saying that im the sorriest soul on earth, just that it could be better  ;-)
god knows i have made mistakes that could be on AVOID DOING THESE MISTAKES for dummies if theres anyone would write about it!
but yeah, sometimes they were not meant to. like hurting someone. i consider myself a 'nice' person. not an angel, buttttt..... nice! not mean, you know. sometimes a persons automatic response to being manipulated or taken advantage of, or treated unjustly..is just simply to retaliate..god knows so many of you are shaking your heads now, but really..thats the auto-responder of a normal, average human like me..
there! now thats honesty. thats how a mistake started!!!!
the mistakes that we did when we were so much younger.
ALRIGHTY..the mistakes that I made! :P
when i didnt really think. when 'an eye for an eye' used to be the motto!
now my guilt-meter or whatever is more appropriate you think it should be called has been bugging me - is apologizing enough? (am i dying? i heard talks about how some people started looking back on what wrong theyve done when theyre dying...?)
then theres this voice that wouldnt settle either...why do i have to be the only one apologizing?
i mean do they really think that they didnt do anything wrong? OH sheer audacity!
yea i guess im babbling here now because i want them to know that they owe me big time sorry!
is that even viable? lol
i guess its ridiculous.
im just tired of people looking at me as the bad guy. yeah, i can be very forward..but isnt standing up for yourself what youve been taught all your life?


"I’m a good man with a good heart
Had a tough time, got a rough start"
-shadow days-