seriously..is it really really wrong to say whats in your heart? is it not 'classy' to rant about your feelings?

well i dont know, thats why im here. see im the kind that writes what i feel most of the time. given the option between voice call or text message, id go text messaging anytime just because i feel that i convey my feelings better in writing!

i dont quite like it when i could sense that somethings terribly wrong but they keep telling "nothing, really" or when they heard something bad, about me or someone else..theyd try really hard to cover it up like theyre protecting someone. or me. from getting 'hurt' (?????) i see it this way, if i did something wrong, tell me in a nice way  ;-)  and if you know that who i hang out with is not a good person (from your perspective) frickin nudge me a subtle hint - just so i have some idea of what im up against!!!! why, really it all boils down to your sincerity   .. i guess. 

are you one of those whod go "hell no, im not gonna tell her, let her find out herself.." type of friend? i mean, i would really like for my friends to tell me if they know that somethings wrong. i dont want to be finding out firsthand! well, let me rephrase that, id rather be prepared. simple as that. isnt that much simpler?

i think its a curse. really! you see I KNOW im not even close to pretty looking, buttttttt my photos somehow make me look good. lol????? i dont know mannn. wouldnt you want it to be the other way around instead?

oh my...look how long ive left you all alone here..

well mainly because ive been busy with work. then theres this issue about my love life, and life - the big picture itself..! (haha?) the inspiration to write about anything at all just blew off with the wind.

2011 ended, well.. in a not-too-bad performance. my children finally picked up in school after going through a bad time in the first 2 years of our divorce. theyre hurt and confused. i, living half alive, felt terrified at the mistakes ive made, putting them in such misery. i was so scared that id never pass that haunting moments. whats terrible is that when you expect people you love to 'understand' what youre going through, chances are, they might not. or, youre expecting wayyyyy too much? in this case i wasnt referring to my children but, lets take my ex husband, for example. i have come to a point where i pity this man more than anything. i have truly fail to understand how he sees life and 'performing' his duties as a father. here in malaysia, many ex husbands/single fathers neglected, whether direct or indirectly (and by that i mean PURPOSELY or otherwise..) to provide for their children, at all or unintentionally due to their lifestyles (whatever that means, whatever that is..) . my ex husband has a recognized teaching diploma but refuses to even give it a second thought even if it means that the children have nothing to wear. im not exaggerating. well, if he thinks otherwise, which im confident he does, i challenge him here to state his debate over the statement i made. (oh norrie!!!) no, seriously, if youre not making anything out of whatever that IS youre doing, then by all means, find something else to do. i dont know what or how to tell you anymore, i dont have time on my side.

yea! we're gonna start with just that, first entry of 2012!

;-)