Sunday, December 27, 2015

Setiap Kali Bukak FB...

Aku akan baca hal2 berkaitan ibadah, amalan mengikut sunah dan macam2 kata motivasi.
How true.
Dalam hidup, sebagai orang Islam, memang kita sentiasa disuruh mencari keredhaan Allah. No doubt about it.

And everybody is not the same.
Sometimes, sesetengah kita boleh..mampu, bukan saja dari segi kewangan ni, dari pelbagai sudut, untuk suka2kan hati keluar makan2 dengan kawan2.
And talk about sirah dan sunah, whats wrong and whats right, tapi macam total hypocrisy. Hal2 macam ni bermula dari keluarga terdekat..

Heres a real life teladan, baca dan renungkan. Sepupu seorang kawan. Jumpa2, borak2, macam self-help group jugaklah. Younger than me, 41 tak silap. Susah. Tak pernah kawin. Tinggal dengan my friend ni punya family lah sekarang ni. Femes lah hal ni, dulu2 anak2 buah dijaga dek makcik2. Dia pun dulu camtu. Sekarang ni, anak2 sedara dah kerja, boleh tahan. Tapi nak saja2 pegi tengok kat kampung, memang takde. Nak huluq fuluih sikitpun, tak penah, macam depa orang susah. Tengok dalam FB bila anak2 sedara lain tunjukkan, rasa menyampahpun ada katanya. Post cerita mulianya bersedekah, reposting macam2 yang kedengaran macam.. "wahh, mesti mulia akhlaknya" makan mewah2 "mesti berUWANG" mesti tak kedekut sedekah RM50.00 sebulan. Katanya, harammmmm.

So kadang2 bila aku baca bebenda macam tu, aku skeptikal - yang baik2 suruhan Allah dan Rasullullah SAW memang kita pegang, InsyaAllah,  tapi yang mengeposnya tu, belum tentu boleh pakai!! Haha. Pleaselah..

Macam seorang yang rapat dengan saya. Setiap kali post di wall, semua yang berkisar halal haram. Satu hari, keluarganya memohon bantuan Ustaz, kerana baran melampau dan tidak menjaga solatnya. Itu serba sedikit cukuplah untuk buat renungan.

Ada pulak yang terang2 cara berseloroh ngaku, share je, sekurang2nya dapat pahala sampaikan pesanan Rasullullah SAW kepada orang lain. Betul!

Kalau baca wall FB eh, macam poie usrah. Sikit lebih kuranglah.. :-)

Anyway, last but not least, seorang kawan ejen takaful. Baru2 jugak mula full time. Minta tolong bgi leads. Aku tolong tanya2kan. Orang Melayu ni memang bab2 insurans dengan khinzir memang macam benda paling teruklah. Kalau ada list item
12,345,678... yang numbo 12,345, 677 tu ejen insurans, yang numbo 12,345, 678 tu khinzir! Punyalah orang Melayu payah benauuu nak jumpa ejen insurans! Aku penah buat dulu. Jangan salah paham lah pulak!  Kang ada pulak ejen takaful yang bambu aku. Perumpamaan je Hokeyyy!
So this Kak Nam beriya2lah kata ok, ok, boleh bagi numbo aku. Dekat 20 kali my friend si ejen takaful ni tried - sms, watsapp, call. Haram dijawabnya. Return call pun tidak. Cemana you justify akhlak (perghhhhh, AKHLAK! Poyo kau Nora) macam ni? Aku dengar pun panas hati. Beradablah, yang beri OK engkau sendiri. Kalau tak mampu masa ni, bersopanlah jawab, bagitau something came up, saya tak dapat nak commit buat masa sekarang, InsyaAllah as soon as things get sorted out, saya telefon ok? Payah na ke bagi yang sungguh tinggi budi pekerti?

No seriously, I pun ada hatemails. Orang kata, apa daa, asik2 tulis pasal orang buat salah. Tulislah pasal hal2 yang baik2. Yang boleh membawa manusia ke level lebih baik..
Yang tu dsh ramai yang tulis, sebenarnya, ramai dah tau.
Yang jenis, spesis macam ni yang makin ramai, so saya dan anda patut cermin2 diri dan betulkan diri.
Bila amalan bertambah, peribadipun patutnya lebih gah..
Aku sama2 ingatkan diri ni, coz aku memang still belajar memperbaiki diri! So please, buka minda, buka hati, tulisan saya bukan  judging them, tapi untuk reflect... belajar dari experience - why we do what we do...?
Macam ceghita had khinzir tadi, orang kita kalau ada citer berkitar tentang khinzir, yang paling teruk lah tu. Buat maksiat, tak ingat jijik langsung, itulah kata pedas kawan saya, haha hamik kau sebijik.
Inilah maksud saya bila saya kata, kena  buka minda, my distorted conviction bukan nak memburukkan orang, tapi untuk belajar..

Mohon maaf..

Saturday, December 26, 2015

Have you ever really loved someone, so much?

Well I have! And it felt like heaven indeed! And then hellish, that it didnt go as planned. It was never meant to be.
Im sure its for the best.

But, he will forever be the one holding my heart with his teeth. Bleeding, pada muka kau Monyet!

Feel very guilty hahahahaaaaa

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Other than that, men sux, haha, tak buleh harap
They think they can just have pussies for free, kan?
Go fricken get yourself 1, or 3, while youre at it. What the hell - Cukupkan quota kau!
Nak yang montok2, semua tembam2, buah dada ysng pejal2..nak suruh beraksi di ranjang macam bintangggg - sebab isteri yang ada dah penuh uban. Dah tak stylo. Atau tak pandai layan..
Tapi, nak bagi duit belanja RM200.00 sebulan! For young stuff? Ingat duit belanja budak sekolah ke? Duit belanja budak sekolahpun lebih dari tu!

Serius? Nak barang baek katanya, macam ada tenaga jantan 20an!  Niat suci nak buat bini kununnya, macam mulia benor!

Sorry, tersasul pulak! Jauh perginya membebel, I thought of the Monkey tadi, then I thought of ...


MEN!
And everything else just shattered!
LOL

P/S: sorry abang. saya susah nak percaya..
Dan sorry bahasa saya vulgar, but what else do you call IT?
Miss V?


KONGSI LA TANGGUNGJAWAB, BUKAN LANGSI SAJER WORRRRRR

Kott?
Entah aku pun kadang-kadang confused mana nak ikut - nak ikut nasihat si Tijah ke, ikut ajaran si Piah??
Macam ni, baru2 ni Ex aku text anak sulung kami "Abah dah tak keja. Kakak sabar ok?" Cakap pada anak pulak. Cakap kat aku lah sepatutnya. Dahlah anak tu tak pasal2, kebingungan..
Aku WA, SMS, Voice call, siap tulis surat, dia diam membisu.
THIS IS NOT THE FIRST TIME! 
He does this on a regular basis..well, bi-annually. Perhaps, maybe?
So these  4 orang bagi 4 pendapat...

Tijah kata, ishh takkan you nak pegi mintak2 kat dia and parents dia, macam beggar pulak. Kan parents dia memang dari dulu macam haram, hina you macam2. Nanti you sendiri yang malu, RhaRha!

Piah pulak kata, its your legal rights and the childrens'! You sebagai Mak kenalah fight for them. Kalau dah bapak tak mampu, dok berenti keja 4, 5 kali setahun (yes she was so emotional and 4, 5 times a year was an exaggeration! ) Tok Nek kenalah bertanggungjawab. Katanya a good Muslim...

Kata Hijabista ni pulak, ini ujian dariNya. Jangan banyak komplen. Mengadu je denganNya. Banyak komplen ni tanda kurang dan lemahnya imanmu.. Ngaji!
(Dia ni salu kata dia tak perlu kawan2, hanya Allah dan family. She can afford to (segala hutang kakak2 abang2 makabah bayarkan, bankcrupt makabah order suruh adik beradik tolong settlekan, suami takde kerja, abang ipar kena bagi kerja, nak pegi vacation takde duit, buat personal loan.. takde benda dia perlu gandar atas bahu dia sendiri. Of course she can afford to) And shes right about turning to Allah. Tapi den ni maknusio biaso, kadang2 aku perlu nak dengar pandangan kawan2.

Meminta pihak yang berkaitan untuk mengambil-alih tanggungjawab bukanlah mengemis simpati. Dan aku rasa kita tidak perlu malu mendapatkan/ mempertahankan hak anak-anak kita. Sebaliknya, kita sepatutnya mencuba. Kalau tak berjaya, sekurang-kurangnya kita dah cuba.
We owe it to our children!
Bagi yang mampu, boleh jer move forward and forget them.
Bagi yang kurang mampu?

Macam kata si Jojie ni pulak, kau ni bercerai tak buat tuntutan ke? Kau tak fikir anak2 ke? Tak bolehlah macam tu. Apapun basis perceraian kau, masa bercerai itu ari kau dah patut file kan terus! Kau kena fikirkan anak2. Apalah kau ni? Kau kena jaga hak anak2 kau. Kalau bukan kau, mak dorang, sapa lagi? Biarlah orang nak cakap apapun, bukan dorang yang nanti nak bagi duit untuk anak2 blah, blah, blah

Gulpppp.. Telan je lah.

Duluuuuuuu, aku salu dapat 'alamat' atau 'pertolongan' untuk fahami ujian2 yang aku terima. Contohnya ni, masa tu Al-Kulliyah, Ustaz Bani Leman tetiba macam bercakap pada aku waktu tu..
"Pada yang asik tertanya2 mengapa Allah beri ujian sebesar ini..ingatlah, Rasullullah SAW sangat banyak sekali ujiannya, sedangkan Baginda kekasih Allah!" Bila dia pandang terus ke TV, berderau darah aku. Terasa macam kena lempang..
Sekarang? Sekarang cam kurang sikit dapat intuition atau 'alamat'

So....selepas ditimbang2, dibawa tidur sampai mengigau2, aku pun dah ambik keputusan. Keputusan aku ialah mengingatkan EX dan family nya tentang tanggungjawab mereka yang aku sanggup kongsi! Bukannya aku nak bergaduh bertumbuk  bagai! Aku kenal ibu2 tunggal yang memang tak nak kerja. Semua dari Ex. Minta bantuan mana2 pun tak mau sebab takde class. Mmg pilihan masing2, tapi itulah, aku pilih untuk ingatkan Ex dan Atok dgn Wan anak2ku. Dan aku sendiripun sama-sama jalankan tanggungjawab.

KONGSILAH TAGGUNGJAWAB! BUKAN ASIK LANGSI SAJER WORRRRR!!!!!

Aku fikir jika mereka tolong, mereka pun tk tambah dosa (siyot je aku kannnn?  :-> ) aku pun dapat teruskan hantar 3 orang  anak2 tuition. Apa2 kecemasan boleh gak menabung..
Kalau tak, alamat mmg ketat gila la budget.
So, aku sekurang2nya fight for my children!

Kalau aku dah bagi 'gentle reminder' buat tak hengat jugak..nak buek cemano laie?
But like I said...at least Ive tried

Monday, December 21, 2015

WHAAAAT?? NOO, DONT TELL, JUST LET IT BE...

Im waiting for my friends to join us for breakfast. She and her kids. Weve known each other since we were 16. We lost contact for a while, then we met again several times.


Well, breakfast was great. The company even greater!
We talked for hours. The children were watching dvd, playing on their own, plucking rambutans - so we had 3 hours, more or less, to ourselves.
She always makes sense!
Once, our classmate was talking about an actress she doesnt like.  My dear friend Saidah, opened her mouth, "You think she likes you?"
This is the friend I mentioned a few entries ago, been wearing hijab since school, never gone clubbing and one real sensible person! Shared with her about an article sent by a friend about weak iman and stuff..
Her response was, "somebody probably sent it to her because shes the one been whining? No?"

LOL

So we started with breakfast. McD. Weve stopped eating McD for more than a year now. So anyway, we thought OK, our guests brought them over, out of respect and love, we enjoyed breakfast together over tearing laughter!

From one topic to another. One that got to me (AGAIN!)  is...ummm
Malays have this attitude of 'keeping EVERYTHING a secret', 'just let it be, dont drag it', 'just ignore her'... Ohhhhh this is my favorite.. 'eh dont ask him about what I told you ok. this is just between us'!  Arent you curious at all? Why the hell not? This untrusting sssssssnake went spreading secrets, now he or shes afraid the owner of the secret found out the secrets no longer a secret! Even worst, its not true! Many saucy lies been added for perfection! Really, why do they do this?

I dont know about other races,  but Malays do this as if they truly do it for the sake of silaturrahim...good friendship.  More often than not, they do it because they are afraid! Now that Im talking about it, I guess its a malaysian thanggg!

Heres an example, someone once was mad with me because i gave away some of my late mothers Corning etc. I was asked to get them back.
"I dont care, you ask her to return every piece! Dont tell her I want them back"
What or how does that sound like to you?
She wanted me to take the spot!

Take responsibility of what comes out of your mouth, your heas.. never be afraid if they get mad at you. Give them a piece of your mind too! Its different today. Muslims link it to the fact that we are so close to the end of the world where more and more people behave quite the opposite instead.

So yes, give them a piece of your mind.
And, today many cowards adopted the silent-method, not because theyre right, but because they are frickin cowards!

Anyway, last night we chatted for a bit.
And we reached an understanding that, nobody really keeps secret!
So if its a secret, goddammit, keep it a secret.
TO YOUR YOURSELF!


Friday, December 18, 2015

I CANT THINK OF A TITLE, BUT...

I swear if anyone ever mention weak faith and iman to me ever again because I talked about some sad events in my life, he or she should just take a hike!

And the best of all is, this person is one that gets everything the easy way. Bankcrupt. No worries, family meeting, bailed out. Settle. Vacation. No money? Make a personal loan. Husband no job. Family meeting again, make rich brother in law give husband a job with high salary. Cant work because no one to take care of kids, no worries, we 'hesitantly' provide you a maid to manage the domestic stuff. Road tax, insurance, petrol, car service...all taken care of. Just make more loan if and whenever you need to, someone will come to your rescue..

You screwed up big time. Over and over again. The thing is, you got out of it not on your own hard work, you asked help for money to fix it.

So dont talk about iman and weak faith to me because I mentioned the father of my children is unemployed - again!

I am not asking for money. Nauzubillah..

A lot of times, people who had done the worst in life, judge others even worse..






Thursday, December 17, 2015

APPARENTLY, YOU ONLY NEED TO TALK TO GOD

Yes, especially if its a sad story about yourself. Dont go to your friends again! Theyve had enough on their plates. People, meaning, EVERYBODY in reality, has his own sad story to attend to. So dont go add yours to their list already! Nobody wants to really listen to sad stories of your husband married a second wife, your 'murder'-inlaw is really killing you...the Ex husband not paying the alimony...keep ALL that to yourself! Dont go sharing with your friends ever again.

That kind of sharing is soooooooo 1980s!

When you meet your friends, bring out only happy, successful and healthy stories! In fact thats the best and advisable thing to do - to avoid resharing, retweeting, rephrasing of the original story, lol.

Every sad experience should only be shared with the Almighty.  Munajat...tahajjud, taubat, hajat. Perform Dhuha if youre tested with the rezeki bit.
Its true, when you talk about it to another human being, you somehow..one way or another, humiliated the 3rd person for whatever flaws he committed. Thats a sin.


Sooooo, what happen if you have no happy, successful and healthy stories?
Stay away from 'friends', haha, any social media at all, any reunion. Fix your mess, then resurface!

This here now, is the age of the REAL survivor,  haha, the toughest.


Shes coming home!

Just for a few days! Id really love to meet up!
But, since theyre back to settle some family stuff, I feel like im 'intruding' somewhat.
You know what I mean.
Itd be really great to meet up such a disastrous news. I just want to forget things, and go on. Anywhere at all. Just not standing still here.

Hope to see you O!

GENTLEMAN KE, JANTAN???

Jantan is the equivalent of " a frickin' bastard".. so, a gentleman or a bastard?

I have sworn to not SWEAR anymore, but this time,
What the heck, when is too far, too much?

Monday, December 14, 2015

2As

Shes disappointed.
But to think of what she had to go through.. as HER mother, I say shes a Champ!

:-)

Of course she has to continuously work harder. And not pay too much attention to negative noises. My successful friends keep telling me to just let you flourish at your own pace, apparently they were never a straight A+ students...

Really?

I want my Treasures, all 3 of them to be truly happy.
Syukur Alhamdulillah..

Congratulations Chah, and that comes with a whole lot of LOVING from me and Trish and Altaf as well ♥♥♥

Sunday, December 13, 2015

PT3 RESULT IN A FEW HOURS

Both mom and daughter, experiencing extreme .... anxiety? This is Chahs 2nd major exam. I have to admit, anak-anak saya bukan terdiri dari cerdik pandai. Anak-anak saya macam bapaknya. Tapi anak-anak saya memang kerja keras. Lama saya belajar untuk redha. Saya percaya, rezeki mereka pasti datang.
Tapi saya tetap bebelkan supaya dorang terus ingat, untuk hidup senang, agama dan pelajaran mesti kena seiring.
Dulu, saya sendiri seorang pelajar sederhana saja. Saya cuma dapat 3A, 2B masa Penilaian, 16 Agg masa SRP, gred 2 masa SPM sipi2..24agg kot, tak ingat, 3P, 2R STPM. Mintak mana2 pun tak dapat. I sambung belajar, di UiTM lepas 5 ..6 tahun kerja. MassComm - PR.
My Ex anak orang senang, yg patutnya mak ayah dia nk htar pi belajar di US, tapi dek sebab tak mau berpisah dengan saya (katanya lah.. tapi saya rasa dia takut pergi sendiri kerana dia tak minat belajar.), jadi kesudahannya, dia tidak pergi! Dia masuk maktab perguruan, instead. Jadi Guru. Kemudian berhenti. Dan bertukar-tukar profession.
Anyway, saya tengok sendiri usaha Chah makin meningkat. Usahanya seiring, Alhamdulillah. Dia sudah mula faham, pentingnya usaha untuk dapat kejayaan. Untuk lakukan apa yang dia minat, dia mesti usaha dlm bidang akademik.

Tak sure betul atau tidak cara saya ni, sekarang saya selalu ingatkan anak-anak perempuan saya agar memilih jodoh lelaki yang beragama dan berpelajaran. Saya cuba tanamkan dalam anak-anak, agar jadi pasangan yg baik  kepada isteri atau suami masing-masing, kerana itu permulaan kehidupan yang berjaya, dunia dan akhirat.

So in a few hours lagi ni, saya masih cuba mententeramkan hati agar terima dengan redha. Anak ini dan juga adik-adiknya banyak mengorbankan masa mereka menjaga saya ketika terlantar sakit.
MY mini me ♥♥

Mama harap, Chah sendiri akan terus usaha, sampailah apa yang Chah inginkan, dimakbulkanNya...Amin.


Dating at 46?

Before I turned 46, I admit, I still think about dating. Not marriage. I thought about companionship. Just someone to talk to. Yes I do think of sex, but the person I want to do IT with isnt someone real. Hes just someone in my head
It almost changed everything. Now, for every man trying to get to know me, I feel such untrusting 'vibe' towards them.
My friends thought I mengada! Being silly, playing hard to get..
Then in another 'level', in another light, I feel unworthy of such nice, seemingly honest men..not too pious, I like it moderate, all the way.

And that brings me to this, 2 friends came over yesterday. I am the makjanz, I is the emotionally abused 1st wife seeking a divorce (apparently, after seeing me handling things like a supermom, {she said that, ok! Haha} So she thought "if you can do it, 3 kids, and a spinal issue to worry about - so can I. Peanut!") And S, happily married, 4 kids, loving fun husband, and I like her husband very much. He is a nice humble guy, great cook!

We asked each other, how did we get to where we are now, as who we are today??
S and I were the clubbing kind. I, however (lol, this is confusing! Lets call  'I' emm, lets call her D) ok... D however had worn hijab since school. So shes the good girl (gone bad...? Lol) never stepped into a club in a mini leather skirt, knee high boots and and a halter bare-back with string in the front (thats me) ..or, in really short shorts and bustier (thats S). Never. So merrily, we were at each other, and the baddest one, is the happily married one! Still running around like teenagers, checking in to hotels, being sneaky, while they send off the kids to camp!

Thats what I want. Im not asking a lot. I just want intimacy to be important to him as well. Being spontaneous.  The leader of the family. Practice Islam. Id like him to be a little naughty with me, not a pervert!

Well, alright ok, no such man exists Norrie. Keep dreaming. Its safer.
So..... dating at 46? And risk marrying a pedophile who is after my children instead?
I actually really like my life right now, apart from certain dispiritingly ordinary unimpressive annoying people!
Haha.. but like I said, itd be nice to have someone I can talk to. Run to, to share my good news. That kind of thing..
:-)
Would love to hear from you guys on this.


MY SELF-GUIDE ON "HOW TO STAY HAPPY/BE HAPPIER & BE MENTALLY STABLE " SURVIVOR KIT 2016 (???)

When youre single and you cant sleep, just get up and DO something! Dont sweat yourself to sleep. Do something that would bring you back to slumberland. Most of the time, id play scrabble. But tonight I prefer this.
(That may very well be no. 1)

1. Even if he or she is your closest friend, since birth - when she starts acting weird, bringing you down, you talk about it, still no change after a year, slowly distant yourself would be best - if I wanted to tell K about it, I would have done it myself. YOU dont have to go through all the trouble making lunch!

2. Dont always expect people to buy your stuff, lol, from my own online shopping experience - a relative! Thats real uglyyyy!!! Support others too, its not like youre obligated to buy from everyone, everyday. Esp dgn orang susah cam I kann, belilh satu barang untuk beri sokongan. Asik nak org beli brg kau jerr..
My friend used to help a mutual friend with her biz, helped her promote and buy her hijabs, her ready2cook product, kain, kolagen lah, ntah apa2 lg. My friend started doing insurance and been up and down to get our friend to sign up with her. In the end, this mutual friend of ours accused my friend not sincere in helping her then, and telling friends that my friend is forcing her!! Use your freakin brain, THINK.
I hate selfish, hypocrite like these two and the following

3. We can find people like this one, EASILY! Shed bitch about someone, then go back to the person, telling YOU bitched about this person! These 2 girl cousins. N is older,, and every younger cousin kind of look up to her. So one day we chatted and she suddenly brought up about Js father using her name to get a loan for  Js younger sister. She grumbled that Js dad is so inconsiderate, bla bla bla. Then the next thing I knew, Js giving me attitude!
Hmmph..

4. When another person 'follow' your style, be happy instead! Not complain! Why even waste time complaining. Made you a trendsetter!  Unless the followers a psycho!
Still?!!

5. PAY ATTENTION because this is nothing new! Weve heard and read about this, so many times before! When you have nothing nice to say, this is the moment you go with white lies, cuz being around and not saying a word is just as good as - weird??!!
"Why your 1st daughter look different ha? The 2nd one a bit pretty.."
"You still have no kid? Why la?"
"Youre so picky/stingy/fat/rich/clever thats why youre still not married"

6. Anyone, friends or relatives, who like showing off, like posting every darn food they had, and usually expensive joints only. Gosh, am I bitter, or what?   ;-)

Ohhhh I dont know. Sometimes I get a little jealous of some people. No matter what their sister or brother do, they always back him/her up. No matter how bad!
But will only see the fault of others, in this instance - moi, sampai mati worr, I once experienced something so revolting and decided to keep it to myself, until something else crept up later in life. My 1st daughter, at around 5months, was sent to a babysitter. My sister in law picked her up and brought her to my moms, daily. Thank you Kakteh..
One day, I get to go home early. So I decided to pick Chah myself. I could hear from where I parked my car, a baby crying. As I got closer, I was certain that its my baby who was crying. The door was opened. I walked in. Its my baby, sobbing, at her feet. She was wearing her house slippers and pushing my babys face with her foot. Chahs face was on one of her foots, tired. When I picked her up, her rompers was so dirty, I thought for crawling around all day!
And...like I said, that was ok..

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

CONFUSION CONFUSION confucius..

I know, the world is made of colorful characters.

Something just came crashing in. Reminded me of someone. Nooo, a female! We used to chat for hours! Now we don't anymore. In fact, I thought... ive had just about enough of her.

She does this a lot.
When she ran away from her parents, she was madly in love with her boyfriend. She didnt run away to be with him. She ran away because she was stressed up with taking care of her very ill mother and overly controlling dad. And the off and on relationship with her boyfriend isnt helping at all. Shes 37 and never been married. Its a huge thing here to most people. Shes feeling the heat.
We were chatting about how shes holding up, and some other stuff.

You know how it is chatting on whatsapp? 10 chats at one go. I still concentrated on her, until my brother posted a photo of someone looking so familiar, a whole family performing Umrah or Haj.
So thats when I chatted that my brother asking who they are. And he told me its Z, who is Ns brother. So I reposted the pics. And we talked about it for a while. Then continued with the earlier topic. After a little while, my brother posted another photo of Z. And I shared it with her as well.

AND SHE WENT CRAZY!!!!
And started calling me selfish. Saying that she always listen to my whining, and I, on the other hand, the crappy selfish bitch. And went on ranting, i can almost see her face!

Then all our mutual friends just stopped talking to me.
Why the hell is that?
It cant be mere coincidence that everyone just stopped right after her ranting. And dont tell me 'jangan sangka buruk' ..no bad assumption, so negative!

After that, I decided enough is enough, I dont need anyone who keeps bringing me down in my life, at this age! And since I dont ever listen to her, Im sure that Im a 'goodriddance' case for her.

When I think back, everything that she told me about her relatives, Im glad I walked away earlier.

I honestly dont understand. People say that if one person say that youre not a trustworthy friend, that person could be just bad-mouthing you. But if a few people sort of feel the same towards you, then you probably are not a good friend!

So Im not a good friend!

Cuzzzz, well, here are more..

A few years ago, I freelanced for the owner of a food supplement (OB), writing for the blog. Maintaining a few social media accounts. OB was introduced to me by a friend. As a freelance writer, I always try to do as much as I could, meaning that I dont want to be tied up to just one project.
I took in one ad-hoc job, but still maintaining the food supplement blog and the social media accounts. The owner paid a monthly retainer fee.
Im not sure why, but maintaining daily phone conversation is a compulsary routine. Not necessarily business related matter. Sometimes just to hear my voice. I figured it was for the purpose of 'checking up' on me..was I sleeping on the job, was I really sick? At the time I was on a 9 month sick leave, so being sick, on and off was almost normal..
The owner decided that we should meet up and discuss further on what we can do together, a permanent employment - sort of - meaning a fixed salary and working only for the Company. I agreed to meet to look at the terms, conditions and perks. (Please be patient, Id like to be as detailed as possible so that you know and understand)
So they came and discussed my term of employment. Which I thought a little bit too open. Its like..I dont discuss my salary or bank balance with a friend. They think its ok to. I asked whats this friend in the Company. Just an old friend. But this friend gave an impression that I needed to explain everything to them both. And I didnt know what I was suppose to explain.
I asked the owner why was my salary etc discussed with this friend - because its a friendship, I didnt think youd mind.
In the end, I ended the freelance agreement and didnt accept the offer to go permanent. Out of goodwill and friendship, we kept in touch.
My friend later on, with a few other friends met for dinner. My friend brought up about talking to OB and irrelevant stuff like, my friend invited OB  to join us, but refused to. A few days or weeks after this dinner, I received a text message asking how I am. And we exchanged messages for a bit until I asked, why didnt you join us for dinner..the reply was "I didnt even know that you guys were meeting up, if I had known, id love to join..."
The first thing that crept up my head was, what was the point of telling me the lie about the invitation to join us, and was declined? Whats the point?
I have this VERY BAD HABIT of asking, for confirmation..of what Im not sure myself, why did you say something else and the other party said something else? In other words, why did one of you lie? For what? Protecting whom? I dont know.. I wasnt mad, in fact I found that it was quite hilarious that someone/anyone at all, thought that it would do something to me.. hmm maybe hurt my feelings? Or embarrass me?
Well, so I asked why? My other mistake besides asking was this, I asked in a group inbox of facebook as "reply all"!!!!! Goodness gracious Norrie!
"OB  SMSed me, just keeping in touch. Why did you say you invited OB, OB said you guys have not talked for months.."
"What is this drama, babe? What are you trying to say?" was the respond I got...!
"No drama babe, just curious, why you said something else and the other party said something else. Thats all"
Then EVERYBODY went quiet! Everybody in the thread! A few months down the road, every mutual friend was acting weird, as in not talking to me. One even refused to sell me rempeyek for Raya. I thought whats going on here..weve been back and forth about the bank account details to transfer the money. In the end, I got it!

Hmmm..

I have many more examples, macam sedara yg suka tetiba citer "I tengah shopping ni" atau "arini masak ketam, bestnyerrrr, makan ramai2" pastu bila I tak tau cmna nsk respond baik2 lagi dah, I duk diam2, dia kata I sombong
"Sombong aa, malas nak layannnn"
Pastu semua sedara2 lain dah pandang I semacam..
Rimas lah jugak..

By three methods, we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest;  and Third by experience, which is the bitterest - Confucius


Sunday, December 6, 2015

YOUR SEX LIFE SUXXX (English, abridged version? :P )

I casually mentioned a friend being harrassed by someone she used to look upon as her own brother! Shes been stressed up for a few years, feeling stuck as to should she attend a particular family gathering? And the ok-a-while, then back to be a pervert again.
So his excuse is his wife doesnt want to have sex anymore.
But he has an erectile issue!
Seriously! How long can performing oral lasts?

ED needs to be treated. Here where I am, where it is still taboo to discuss it openly, more than 2 people would suffer! Most men wouldnt think twice to just go hunt for an attractive, 'trusted' victim to pour his heart to. Usually, a relative. Thats where the 3rd person comes in! And usually doesnt even realize that shes being abused.

Well, these days, women here do it too, but it is more of a...'consenting adults' thingy.
Im sorry guys, its always a harassment when its the guy!

Anyway, how did it start? That the husband going to another woman, and started a secret rendezvous? According to him just because his wife wouldnt have sex with anymore (but why wont a wife make love to her husband anymore? There must be a very valid reason, haha, as valid as his reason to have sex with another woman! Think about it...) And proudly confessing that he still loves his wife a lot..like THAT makes up for the indecent, inappropriate proposal?
LOL, sorry, how bias!

Well..
He realizes his ED issue. Surely he needs to understand that his wife could get jaw-lock for taking so longggg, and still not getting anywhere!
I think I can understand the frustration in both!

Ladies and gentlemen, you need to address this issue, seriously. A reader wrote telling about how she had not had sex with her diabetic husband for 5 years now, but, ok heres the weird bit..
He takes in a 2nd wife!! Isnt that interesting?
How did he do that?
Apparently, the 2nd wife 'survives' on her toy.
But why take in another wife, when you are well aware of your condition???

While toys help, what about the 1st wife who prefers the real thangggg?
Seek help.
Or let her go! The lack of bravery clearly isnt an act of love nor compassion.
Or is it?
Hmmmph..

This isnt the issue of the western couples, not as many as down here in Asia at least. I feel that people in the western world are more open at handling this issue than us Asian. 

YOUR SEX LIFE SUXXX? ( versi B.Melayu k..)

Aritu I ada tulis casually pasal hubungan intim yang tak panas lagi, pastu suami mula moyok. Ada yang sampai kecik ati dengan isteri! Ada yang sampai kata nak ajak projek macam mengemis.. Ni nak sentuh lebih mendalam dan lebih sensitif..

Kawan I yang kena ganggu oleh lelaki yang dia anggap macam abang kandung tu, memang stressed jugak beberapa tahun. Sebab mereka ada hubungan kekeluargaan. Tak nak masuk campur, famili lain perasan. Tanya2. At the same time, dia ni dok terasa, kalaulah mamat tu pulak yang pusing cerita! Kata dia makjanz yang kesepian. Yang kegersangan.

ANAK: Kenapa Aunty sekarang takmo datang rumah kita ayahnda?
AYAHANDA: Aunty merajuk sebab dia ajak ayahnda pergi ronda2, tapi ayahnda tak mau. Mestilah ayahnda tak mau sebab ayahnda anggap dia dah macam adik sendiri dan ayahnda cintan giler sama ibundamu sampai mati! Itulah ayahnda tak sangka aunty tu ada perasaan pada ayahnda yang tua ni
ANAK: Eiii gediknya aunty, tak sangka aunty sama jer dengan makjanz2 lain!!!

Kawan I siap bagi hipotetikal senario lagik. Tapi memang ada betul jugak. Mamat tu for sure nak jaga bonbon dia. Giler! Pecah lubang kalu, peranggggg

So kalau perasan suami atau isteri tu nampak cam tak berseri je muka, bawaklah berbincang. Janganlah sebab hang malaih nak layan keperluan pasangan, sampai mengakibatkan pasangan cari 'mangsa'. Cerita ngarut2 berunsur seks sajerrrr, tak abih. Kemaghuk benor gamaknyer!
Surau pergi, kopiah tak tinggai, tapi belakang tabir dok mengemis oral sex la, dating la, cakap benda2 budak2 baru belajar romen - jijik ahh
Suami ada tanggungjawab pada isteri. Isteri ada tanggungjawab pada suami. Bukan salah seorang! Tapi dua2 endakkkkk.
Percayalah, ni nanti aku dok tulaih lagu ni, sure ada yang makan cabai tu, berwap-wap teghasa pedaih!
Mendidih. Kata I gatai lah. Kata I ni tak tau malulah ceghita bebenda lagu ni. 
Nasib I lah..

Pos kat FB pasal tanggungjawab isteri pada suami. Menolak ajakan suami atau isteri, berdosa. Bukan suami ja!
Yang orang suami ni, tak tau lah apa punya pesen. Dah tak buleh tegak, tapi nak jugak! Fikirlah habis2. Pegi lah berubat, cari penawar. Mana isteri tahan nak main2 pikat burung lama2, tapi takdak hasil. 
Ini pengakuan ye, dari pembaca. Boleh tahan ke 2 tahun macam tu? 
Bila suami mula menggesel2, kawan I ni trauma giler. Takut lenguh rahang mulut. 
Sorry ye, but wanita yang melalui sexual harassment lagi trauma! So jangan fikir pendek sangat. Jangan fikir itu hal kelambu korang dua orang jer. Cari lah jalan. Jumpa dukto mintak tips ubat mana satu yang sesuai. Jangan sampai bawak masalah lain pulak...

https://www.medexpress.co.uk/clinics/erectile-dysfunction/
Credits to:
Tak taulah campaign atas tu, tahun bila. Tapi rasanya kita pun perlu lebih 'sikittttt' terbuka tentang isu ini?



Ubat2an untuk masalah erectile ni perlu consultation dengan doctor. Bukan main2 bro!
Seorang pembaca punya pengalaman, suaminya diabetic yang sampai tak boleh erect langsung. Isteri dah 5 tahun tak merasa nafkah batin. Suami bawak balik satu ubat kawkaw. Memang kawkaw tapi tak boleh buat mende, suami tercungap2 tak boleh bernafas! Jadi pendeknya, bijaklah uruskan isu macam ni. Malu tak selesaikan masalah, especially masalah korang suami isteri.

Cheers ok, janganlah marah sangat. Apa yang I cakap ni ada betulnya. Duduk. Tarik nafas dan usahakan..

Saturday, December 5, 2015

BUAT LETIH JE! Part 2

So..what do you think?
I always hear things like.."hey, dont cry..." like it is such a bad thing! Some people make it look like ..  when you cry, youre weak.
Or..when you talk about what you disagree with, youre the type who  grumble and complaints a whole lot.

OK, why do people feel relief after they talked about whats bugging them? Bear in mind that, not everybody has the luxury of paying a psychiatrist hundreds of dollars an hour!
And, why do people see others who cry as, weak?
In my religion, as human, we are none but weaklings and when we pray and confess our weaknesses to the Almighty,  soon after we feel recharged.
So, just what the hell is so wrong with pouring my heart out and cry?

Anyway..
As a continuation to the previous post, I think my way of channeling my frustrations by writing it here, in public, is not such a big deal as some people see it to be..

A lot of people I know, talk about someone else. Thats the truth. May be not out loud the way I do..but they talk, good Lord, they do! And, believe this - not everyone who appears trustworthy, kind and seemingly...concern, is what they really are. And youre BEST-est, oldest, closest friends, maybe an angel to you but she can well be mean to others. Or just THAT THING you cant point your finger on 'thingy'!

My random thoughts today brings me to Raya (Eid) 2011 or maybe 12 (told you Im bad with dates. Numbers!) We were at an old friends place, visiting. This friend later on posted a few photos of us at her place. Another friend, B who is such a darling whom I love dearly saw the post and was a little taken abacked by it - that I did not visit her - was obviously mad. If not a lot, definitely a fair amount of anguish hit her due to what happened!

I felt awful. I really did. She lives abroad. On that very day, my mind was really everywhere. I had planned to visit my sister who was at the time, quite sickly and hospitalized. So going to M was in my plan. I guess it was my fault. I guess I wasnt thoughtful enough. I really didnt remember that B was in Malaysia. It was not intentionally done. But after what happened, she ignored me for a few years. B is such a joyful person to be around with, shes kind, shes crazy.
But I really didnt do it on purpose.

Then came the next 2 Raya! Shes still cold. But I kept trying. Redha that things willnever be the same. Not on my side either.
Well how could I? I didnt do it on purpose. She did. Or, perhaps I dont mean much to her after the Raya that I didnt visit her. No matter what I did.
2013..or 2014, she decided to make the trip to us on the 1st raya. I usually reserve 1st and 2nd Raya for really close relatives and siblings. But she said she could only make it on the 1st, so I changed my schedule. Was excited that shes finally gotten over the last raya incident. Thats the Raya B was introducing her fiance, after the silly old man crazy rendezvous with her, failed miserably!
I thought she was probably at my place on that 1st Raya just because she wanted to introduce her fiance. Thats decent still. I dont mind at all.
And the 2nd time supposedly to be married didnt work either. I even thought am I jinxed?
So this Raya, after a careful planning, my darling friend kept changing her plan as and when required, suited her other friends.
She said KM might come aoong with me. I got even more excited. The more the merrier. Then KM  might no be able coz its the 1st Raya, so of course shed be spending it with her family. Well...OK, I understand that too. So no KM. Then, again they confirmed to come with KMs family as well cuz theyre all visiting a family friend.

In the 3bd, they didnt turn up. Apologizing on the day itself , a few hours after the set time. I had prepared lunch. Im sure not as lavish as her other VIP friends, but yeah, lunch was prepared for them, as planned. As agreed.
There were many changed of plans due to her other friends in the beginning.

I just wondered time after time, why? This friend of mine, has lots of friends. Shes truly LOVED by all.
And to add salt to injury, I saw photos of KM  with her, alone, on the 1st Raya visiting her friends. Im sure theres a strong reason why.

I accepted it. I understand.
Its OK fot you to screw up big time the way you did, but not when I did it - unintentionally!

LOL, now dont even dare to show your snappy side, takyah nak sentap sangat, kalaulah terbaca or terdengar cerita. This is one example. I know more 1st hand experience of  "sometimes, its just not worth it!"
Shes truly loved by people, including me. But, somehow or rather, it just doesnt work..

NOTE: I AM ONE OF THOSE WHO, IN MY YOUNGER DAYS, MADE FOOLISH MISTAKES IN MANY WAYS - PLEASE KNOW THAT THIS ISNT IN ANY WAYS AT ALL, MEANT TO JUDGE OR ATTACK ANYONE - LETS LOOK AT THIS AS A MEAN  TO REFLECT AT/ON OUR ACTIONS UNTO OTHERS. PEACE???  ;-)