my teenage days were really not very different! (right?? tell me that you had the same, well ALMOST as interesting..?) the top of the pops days! the true rebel. i didnt get the attention i used to get from my father. i missed my mother, whom i hardly see because unlike the other mothers at the time, she worked. my brother hizan a.k.a. gary was always taking my sister around and everywhere. my brother sham had his own group of friends that he occasionally brought home during the weekend. so i kept to myself. i read books i wasnt suppose to read. i watched movies that got me scared in my room at night. in short i learnt about the other side of life when i was suppose to still be a child.
shortly before my 17th birthday, i had a tiff with my one and only sister - so i wrote a letter (yep, i started writing letters at 8-9 years old. my father encouraged me to write letters to new friends..from the program 'the big blue marble'. i had friends from every continent, i forgot to mention this in Part I) saying that im going to 'clear my mind at chops place', lol macam real. on the second night at chops, she called. and i got an earful of 'lectures' from her. i asked her why didnt you tell mother where i was? when i came home i got more nagging from my mother, the woman never raised a finger nor her voice at me. clearly she was angry, frustrated and scared. i cried. then to my surprise, my father called me and we had a 'man-to-man' talk. not his normal self, he spoke like a true hero, with his hand on my head! i remember thinking 'ayah is on my side..' i cried for two days before my mother, or 'chik' thats what we call her, started talking to me again.
at some stages of my life, my relationship with my sister or 'kaklang' was like of an insecure lover. haha. i will share with you some of the story of our lives! i hope you and i, learn from what we share here. im not looking at it as a bad thing.. now im 42, ive learnt to see things in a different perspective, i hope you would too..
my sister, she is really beautiful and blessed with the height and great bod.. what i wrote up there was actually the beginning of our love-hate relationship.
(PLEASE DONT LOOK AT THIS AS A BAD THING, both of us have made mistakes..just take it as a lesson learned.. try to read this as just a life experience without being judgemental.)
(PLEASE DONT LOOK AT THIS AS A BAD THING, both of us have made mistakes..just take it as a lesson learned.. try to read this as just a life experience without being judgemental.)
from then on, we have been the best of sisters, and otherwise! when i was thinking about writing this, i was scared if i would hurt some people. it took me a long time, and finally, here it is. we both made mistakes. i was the super sensitive one. i was called the weak one..but i see myself as the strong one, because i was, i am and i will always be a stand-alone unit. per se. i think. but i realized a few years ago that i am a stronger person than i gave myself credit for (ok.. that sounds familiar, haha, a line from a song..it must be johnnys)
you see its different with kaklang, she never shed a tear. well, hardly. i guess she is super strong and she leads a pretty much happy life. my life is very different for hers. she has a very responsible and loving husband who takes care of her every need. stable living. emotion.
i know that its really unfair for me to write this without yeins, thats my ex, side of the story here. like i said, i made mistakes too. but i guess once youve lost it, you lost it..(not the loving feeling..well i still care about him a lot. as does he, for me.)
i'll talk about this in the other part, insyaallah :-)
so..from a happy person i turned to be this sad woman....my perspective towards a lot of things changed. i totally changed. i have been through a very lethargic journey that at one time got me losing faith. losing faith in people. there were too many hidden agendas. pride to protect. which is, NOW i know that it seems like a natural thing. that almost everyone does that! "Oh i have never done such thing!" "Aku tak pernah macam tu" Ive seen too many. I am talking in general now, please know that...
before i finish up with part II, please let me tell you that my sister and i, we are just like many other sisters, just a little different ;-) i love her dearly, and i know she loves me too, in her own way..
so i guess, the moral here is.. theres always a reason why people say things..do stuff. just frickin' stop judging.. there cant be no two identical situation that two different people are facing..
have a fabulous weekend my friends :D
i know that its really unfair for me to write this without yeins, thats my ex, side of the story here. like i said, i made mistakes too. but i guess once youve lost it, you lost it..(not the loving feeling..well i still care about him a lot. as does he, for me.)
i'll talk about this in the other part, insyaallah :-)
so..from a happy person i turned to be this sad woman....my perspective towards a lot of things changed. i totally changed. i have been through a very lethargic journey that at one time got me losing faith. losing faith in people. there were too many hidden agendas. pride to protect. which is, NOW i know that it seems like a natural thing. that almost everyone does that! "Oh i have never done such thing!" "Aku tak pernah macam tu" Ive seen too many. I am talking in general now, please know that...
before i finish up with part II, please let me tell you that my sister and i, we are just like many other sisters, just a little different ;-) i love her dearly, and i know she loves me too, in her own way..
so i guess, the moral here is.. theres always a reason why people say things..do stuff. just frickin' stop judging.. there cant be no two identical situation that two different people are facing..
have a fabulous weekend my friends :D
