I was not an angel growing up. Partly because i thought my parents or siblings didnt like me because im ugly. At the age of 9 or so, i idolized freddie mercury. Mick jagger. At 14, i dressed up like boy george. I thought id be better off as a man. I shaved my legs. My arms. Oh yeah, my chest. I fell in love with bonnie tyler. Errrr..
Anyway, my treasure Aesyah is now 12. When she was born, she was pulled out of me by the arm...injured one of the nerves which caused her erb palsy (left arm) and as if that was not enough, she had stopped breathing and turned blue because 4 suction machine to clear the mucus from her infant lungs didnt work. I was lying there being stitched up, crying, motionless on the labour room bed. She was taken away, somewhere. I remember thinking to myself, thats it? The 8 months? Then the nurse came and put her on my chest. Shes still with me!!
She went through a lot. Blood transfusion. Infection. She had to stay in the neo natal ward for almost a month for being a pre-m baby. Jaundice. Breathing issue. She made it. I told her that shes a strong little girl, and she is! Day by day i thought to myself that shes going to grow up as somebody important. Every moms dream?
Today, as i watch her grow, everyday, i see a little bit of myself growing inside her. And it scares the hell out of me...that shed share the same path i did! God forbids. My path has been difficult and hurtful, i dont want her to go through the same path i did. And everytime she hums a song, i wanted to tell her stop singing, read a book instead! Or when shes looking up a lyric to her favorite song, i wanted to tell her, practice maths....
I believe that shes destined to be bigger. better.
I guess, this is the same thing that got my mother (al-fatihah Chik...) all worried. over me.
Now i know....
My Darling Aesyah, I love you so much. Period.
She went through a lot. Blood transfusion. Infection. She had to stay in the neo natal ward for almost a month for being a pre-m baby. Jaundice. Breathing issue. She made it. I told her that shes a strong little girl, and she is! Day by day i thought to myself that shes going to grow up as somebody important. Every moms dream?
Today, as i watch her grow, everyday, i see a little bit of myself growing inside her. And it scares the hell out of me...that shed share the same path i did! God forbids. My path has been difficult and hurtful, i dont want her to go through the same path i did. And everytime she hums a song, i wanted to tell her stop singing, read a book instead! Or when shes looking up a lyric to her favorite song, i wanted to tell her, practice maths....
I believe that shes destined to be bigger. better.
I guess, this is the same thing that got my mother (al-fatihah Chik...) all worried. over me.
Now i know....
My Darling Aesyah, I love you so much. Period.
